For the longest time, I was convinced that life was happening to me. It felt unfair. I was partially right of course; I do not have control over everything but that did not take away from the fact that my life is my own responsibility. And when I stepped into my self-awareness, I could no longer blame circumstance or rigged systems or other people alone for my dissatisfaction in life. I had to acknowledge all my choices, even the ones made out of fear.
RESPONSIBILITY:
The word that explains this is one we are all familiar with but how well do we understand it: Responsibility. Responsibility means owning your choices regardless. It is knowing and understanding your life currently then being proactive about bettering it. It is doing your part as you should and when you should. It is about acknowledging to achieving the specific result that must be produced but nonetheless accepting the result that occurs and working from there. Whether you agree or not, this applies in many parts of our life because we have many different responsibilities: personal, academical, social, legal, professional, etc. The choices that determine the results are all somewhat on you too because you get some level of control over your own life. And if you don’t make a choice, you are still choosing to have one be made for you. That is how unavoidable responsibility is. You choose how you see thing; what you say; your values and believes; how you act or react towards things; how you value things; how you spend your time, energy and money and etc. Sure, it could be influenced by some circumstance, system or person but no one or nothing can make you choose anything you really do not want. Just as in UNO, the goal is not to control every card in the deck but to play your own cards with intention, patience and courage.
The cards you are dealt:
If life’s responsibility is like UNO, the card game, everyone playing is dealt a random bunch of cards with a unique combination of advantages, challenges, opportunities and limitations. Others have better cards than others and the odds are in their favor. If you don’t have any advantages and opportunities, you deem worthy, it is easy to feel like you got screwed over and talking about “It is not fair” or “If only I was/had…” Well congratulations on developing that victim mindset, your self-pity and comparison will not serve you well in the long run. Meritocracy is a lie; this card game is not designed to be fair. Not for you or anyone playing. We don’t get to choose the cards we will pick up or the ones we start with (this is mostly on your parents), but we only choose how we play them. At a certain age we are no longer a product of our environments, we become an active participant in shaping our own life.
Playing your turn:
Everyone takes a turn, one after another. No one controls the whole table. Each player brings their own hand, their own strategy and their own timing. While the cards we are dealt influence the game, they do not fully determine the final result. Players still have to make choices about how to respond to the cards played. You don’t determine other people’s choices or how they affect you or them and the other way around. After something or anything happens, it is your turn to weigh your options and make your choice. You play the game with the cards and knowledge you have. You control what you can, plan what you can, learn what you can and change what you can while adhering to the rules and boundaries given to meet the specific result of the game. But in all you have to be reliable, dedicated, disciplined and future focused in the present moment.
Your cards change:
Situations evolve as players are drawing cards and playing. No one makes it through this game without collecting more cards whether that’s good or bad or both. You can either pick up 2 or pick up 16 depending on the situation or risk taken. And as much as this can make you feel legitimately victimized sometimes, it does not change the responsibility on the present situation. Before you start going “Nothing ever works out for me” or “Why me?” at any point during the game know that your feelings are valid. But those are now your cards for you to play with, sorry. Just accept it and attempt to make them work for you. Because playing the victim might get you your two seconds of attention, some pity and whatever, but it will never bring you a single step closer to your result nor at least damage control for you. Plus, the game won’t reward you for holding on to some game myths you have been sold like that good things only happen to good people or that hard work always guarantees immediate results. Those beliefs may feel comforting, but they often set you up for disappointment when your reality does not align with them. This is a game of probability and not guarantee; the cards are random and there is no exact formula. Sometimes you can only vent about how unfair something felt and how you didn’t deserve it, as long as you keep playing.
Ask for help:
You need not to surrender responsibility, it removes the comfort of believing that someone else will eventually step in to fix the situation for you. That belief can become a temporary emotional cushion during difficult times, however, relying entirely on that hope can also prevent you from confronting the reality of your situation. You will learn that you are never completely helpless. The fact that your life ultimately belongs to you means that your choices still have the potential to influence what happens next. And if help is really required it is okay to ask. Asking for help acknowledges that while the situation is your responsibility, you are open to support, guidance or resources from those who are willing and able to provide it. But there is an important distinction between asking for help and expecting rescue. Expecting rescue assumes that others are obligated to fix your situation simply because you are struggling. That is entitlement at its finest. The world owes you nothing, no matter who you are. Sounds harsh, yes, but it is also deeply liberating. It nurtures your resilience and adaptability instead of delaying action waiting or wishing for your situation to be changed for you somehow.
You NEVER truly leave the game:
Another thing, giving up, leaving and refusing to play is just a choice to forfeit the round. Like it or not, you still indirectly in the game as long as you live and your cards remain exactly as you left them like a game you never deleted on your phone. The game must go on and it waits for no one. It doesn’t care for reason. The other players continue taking turns, laying down their cards, celebrating small and large victories, and adjusting their strategies as the game evolves. You just became a spectator of the game- because you have removed yourself from the growth, progress and possibility-either celebrating their wins or becoming bitter (wishing it was you). Hey, at least you are away from all the hardships of that game. And when you ready to play again, your cards in that game will be waiting for you untouched and unchanged. You will pick up at the same exact position you stopped playing. The game won’t get any easier or better than the day you put down your cards. Perhaps it will be an upgraded version with slightly different conditions and new players but nonetheless the same. I hope you come back smarter, wiser and with a modern strategy.
Action cards: Life’s unexpected moments:
I love action cards and just as in UNO life has them too. UNO has action cards like Block, Reverse, Draw Two and my personal favorite the Wild card. It is these unpredictable twists that make the game memorable. They suck when used against you but when you have them, it feels like you have hit a jackpot.
- Block- When someone is forced to pause while others move forward. When this card is used against you, it feels like an inconvenience because your window of opportunity to move forward has been taken away. You can just work on increasing your chance of progress when the next window opens. But when it is for you, it makes any necessary obstacles suddenly disappear so the opportunity can be yours or the window closes with you inside.
- Reverse- When life suddenly changes direction. This shifts an entire dynamic of your life unexpectedly. You might have been moving steadily toward a certain plan only to realize that a different path is forming in front of you or is available to you causing you to rethink that aspect of your life. These reversals can feel unsettling at first, yet many people eventually discover that they often lead somewhere better and more aligned with them.
- Draw two- When someone suddenly has to take on more responsibilities. Sometimes these responsibilities are in the form of challenges but other times they are opportunities. Whether you are the one giving or taking on more responsibilities, these experiences often represent powerful moments of growth that shape the person you are and might become. Many people discover their resilience, strengths, abilities, or whatever quality necessary during these experiences to carry the day.
- The wild card- When you are given an unexpected advantage to change your life. The ultimate power where you suddenly gain the ability to redefine your path and determine the result. The wild card does not follow the usual limitations, that’s what makes them striking. These are very rare and arrive in many forms. Perhaps an opportunity/ resource you did not plan for or a meaningful connection with someone who changes your perspective/offers a strategy, or whatever you deem a game changer for you. What makes the wild card so powerful is not just its presence, but your ability to recognize it and use it.
HOW TO MAKE RESPONSIBILITIES MANAGABLE:
As much as effort and hard work help you out, there comes a point where that is no longer the solution. Working smarter is. Responsibility is not just about how much you can carry, but how well you can manage what you carry. Here is how I make my responsibilities manageable and keep moving forward:
- Find your unfair advantage
Everyone has something that gives them an edge even if it does not look impressive at first. Your “unfair advantage” is anything that makes your life easier for you at that time and point. Responsibility becomes overwhelming when you try to handle everything all at once and especially the same way as everyone else. You don’t need to prove that you can do it like everyone else, there is no reward for struggling, instead focus on your blessings and what works best for you. Play to your strengths; stop trying to play fair in an unfair game.
- When help is offered willingly, accept it
Responsibility does not mean you must do everything alone, that can be overwhelming and exhausting. In fact, trying to carry every burden by yourself can make even manageable situations feel almost impossible. When someone offers genuine help in any form, accept it with gratitude. Sometimes the smartest move is not playing harder but using the help available around you and to you. The goal is not to prove that you can do everything “Little Ms. I don’t need anyone” (You do), but to ensure that things get done in the best efficient way possible.
- Focus on your next move, not the whole game
One of the most helpful strategies for managing responsibility and navigating life is learning to focus on the next move instead of trying to control the entire game. Focusing on the whole game creates the feeling that the situation is too big to handle. You already know the objective of the game, just take it one step at the time. Breaking large responsibilities into consistent smaller actions makes progress possible. Stay adaptable because responsibilities change, situations evolve and what worked before may not always work again. Be willing to adjust your approach to work with the transformation Instead of resisting it.
CONCLUSION:
At the end of it all, this game we are playing is not about having the perfect hand or never facing difficult rounds. It is about showing up, again and again, with whatever cards you have been given until the specific result has been reached. Because every intentional move you make, no matter how small, is a declaration that you have not given up on yourself. You will not always get it right. There will be moments you wish you had played differently, chances you missed, and choices you would take back if you could. But that is all part of the game; no one plays a flawless game. It is not about perfection, but awareness and the ability to learn, adjust, and move forward with a little more knowledge than you had before. Be patient and remember that taking responsibility for your life is not as a hindrance, but the only form of power you possess in the game.
THANK YOU FOR STOPING BY!!
Stay beautiful and blessed